Career Reinvention Day

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Take some time out this April to invest in yourself! This special career reinvention day is for you if you’ve been feeling a little (or more than a little!) disillusioned or dissatisfied with your career. Maybe you’re in a job you hate or in a career rut, but you don’t know what else you could do or what you really want. You’d like to take action, but you feel stuck.

This reinvention day is also for you if you’re someone who’s looking to return to work after a long career break. Maybe you’ve been dealing with illness, or perhaps you took time out to raise your family. You’d like to get back into the working world but you don’t know what you would be suited to and you’ve lost some confidence.

Bookings and full details at www.quietspacecoaching.co.uk/events. Come join us!

Now is the time!

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NOW is the time. Whatever time zone you’re in (you’re allowed to wake up first if you’re currently asleep 😉). The longer you play the waiting game, the longer you will have NO results. As one of my favourite authors says, you don’t want to be in the waiting place, for people just waiting. Waiting around for a yes or a no, for the fish to bite, for Friday night, a Better Break, for Another Chance. That is NOT for you.

No! You’re going to be the person who this year ditches the New Year Resolutions that are forgotten about after January, and instead makes the choice to get some lasting results this year. With bunting or with no bunting (although I always recommend bunting, because in every day there is a cause for celebration).

I’m really excited about the new career reinvention programme that Quiet Space is going to be launching in the next few weeks! I’ll be looking for people who’re fed up of waiting or making excuses and want to say YES to finally making some deep and lasting changes in their lives and getting a job they love in 2018.

The venue for the workshops has yet to be confirmed but they’ll be held in the Coventry and Warwickshire area. If you want to get an advance preview of some of the programme content before it’s ready for launch, drop me an email at natalie@quietspacecoaching.co.uk and I’ll get in touch!

Goodbye 2017, hello 2018

A year ago today, I bid goodbye to my year of crisis. In 2016 depression got the better of me and I spent the rest of the year hauling myself back to a better place. I learnt lots of things, including how to take much better care of myself. Like how not to take things personally, leaving work in the office, knowing when to say no, making micro-resolutions, not sweating the small stuff, and embracing lots of new experiences. I started playing rugby and running regularly, joined a choir and dabbled in acro yoga, and attended my first music festivals and live gigs.

2017 has been kind to me, and I’ve been kind to myself. I’ve been altogether more sanguine about life. I completed my postgraduate qualification in career development and coaching, then took the plunge with a year-long work sabbatical. In just two months since leaving the 9-5 in October, I’ve launched Quiet Space, established a website and social media presence, networked, designed and developed programmes, and learnt so much about business development, branding, sales and marketing. None of this has actually felt like work, because I finally feel like I’m doing what I should be. And above all – I’ve been proud to be part of the transformational journey of my amazing clients.

I have lots of plans for 2018, but for now I’m looking back to appreciate all the things I’ve achieved. I’m proud of myself, and enormously thankful for all the love of my family and friends, who’ve gotten me through it all.

Look back on 2017 and see just how far you’ve come. Notice what skills you’ve learnt. The insights you’ve had. The people you’ve helped. The new experiences you’ve embraced. The challenges you’ve faced head-on. The friendships you’ve made. You are amazing. I guarantee it.

I wish you all an amazing 2018. Love is louder than all of it.

Identity and the Community of Selves

I’ve been mulling over the topic of identity a lot in recent weeks following some pretty intense client sessions, and thought I’d share some of my thoughts.

One thing I’ve been introducing to clients has been the idea of the self-concept – your collection of beliefs about yourself – and how this can affect your perceptions about how others view you. Those of you who know your Carl Rogers will be familiar with his theory of self-concept, comprising self-image (your view of yourself), self-worth (the value you place on yourself), and the ideal self (the person you wish you were). Unless these components overlap, people will find themselves out of balance with respect to how they relate to their world, leading to unhappiness, dissatisfaction and lack of confidence.

Your self-concept isn’t immutable; it’s something that develops and changes throughout life as you grow and learn. It’s shaped by all sorts of factors, such as your environment.

I’ve lived a life on two different continents since having relocated to the UK nearly two decades ago. For the first few years after moving I felt a bit lost in the in-between, never knowing if I was coming or going. I didn’t only speak differently; I acted differently depending on whether I was here, or there. What had been home was full of hardwired associations with family, school, and childhood traumas, and I found myself falling into all the old patterns when with family and friends. On the other side I was anonymous; free to rewrite my story.

I’ve found it helpful both in my own life and when working with clients to think about identity not as a single entity, but rather as a “community of selves” that come to the fore in different arenas of your life. You’ll probably recognise this if you consider your own life: do you see yourself differently depending on where you are and the people you’re interacting with? Do you see the dedicated athlete? The corporate professional? The strict parent; the stubborn child; the jokey friend; the weekend warrior?

Sometimes some of these identities may seem to be in conflict. Perhaps you’re a highly-respected expert in your particular industry but find yourself unable to assert yourself in social situations. Or perhaps you’re the life of the party, but the idea of public speaking sends you into a cold sweat.

But you can learn to choose which aspects of you you’re going to allow to take centre-stage at any point in your life and in whatever circumstance. You can learn to own your identity and define how you want to see yourself; to realise that you’re not any single one of the labels that you or anyone else gives you. You’re much richer and more complex and more beautiful than that, and you have the power to choose which mantle you’re going to put on – and when.


Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself;
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
– Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass


Has this resonated with you? Get in touch.

 

Get ready to live your dreams

The recipe:

1) Meet new people.
2) Get out of your comfort zone.
3) Dream bigger.
4) Progress, not perfection.
5) Take control of your fear.
6) NOW is the time.

What are you waiting for? Start here; start now. Get in touch for a chat about how Quiet Space can help you soar.

 

This is not your practice life

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Are you making the most of what life has to give? Or are you putting off what you really want to do, blaming your fears or the suffocation of the daily grind?

Life is all about the choices we make. We always have a choice – opting for one thing over another, or deciding how to respond to what life throws at us.

This shot is from the Spring Wolf Run in April 2016 – one of my bucket list experiences that I dived into during crisis point. I was hypothermic by this stage in the race and was having to skip the freezing water obstacles (ended up in the med tent to get my temperature back up from 34 C) – but I wasn’t missing the 100-metre mud slide!

If you’ve been wanting to make changes in your life, or life is telling you that you need to, NOW is the time. You don’t have to start with a big bang. That something that’s going to change your life? It starts with small steps, reawakening yourself with new experiences, being kind to yourself and then going out there and absolutely killing it, because you are amazing.

Dream bigger!

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Last week, I attended a mini-workshop all about tackling fear. On Day 1, ‘Some Kind Of Fairytale’, we each had to write a story.

The story, as you might imagine, was an allegory. I gave mine a happy ending. Which I was then asked to rewrite so it was even happier.

I’m looking at my story now which is full of annotations in the margins. At the end, one annotation stands out. It says DREAM BIGGER!!!

How often do we constrain ourselves without even realising it? Don’t censor your dreams. DREAM BIGGER.

Kintsukuroi

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Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in
– Leonard Cohen, Anthem

This photograph is an example of Kintsukuroi (also known as Kintsugi). It’s a Japanese tradition and art form whereby broken pottery is repaired using lacquer that’s been mixed with powdered gold, silver or platinum. The philosophy of Kintsukuroi is that breakage and repair is part of the the history of an object that should be recognised and valued, rather than being something to disguise.

It may well be a cliché but our mistakes, pain and setbacks are all part of the experiences that make us who we are. We have a choice to fold and give up, or learn from the experience and keep going. Breaking can make us better, given the right care, time and someone to help us see the way.

Image credit: Found via a Google search – original photographer unknown.

What’s stopping you?

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One question that often prompts a very enlightening discussion during my coaching sessions is “what’s stopping you?”

A great number of the barriers that hold us back from achieving our goals and dreams are in fact self-constructed.

Perhaps you don’t know where or how to start. You can’t see the woods for the trees, and become overwhelmed by how daunting everything looks. Perhaps you worry about making the wrong decision. Is this what I really want? What if it isn’t the right thing to do? What if I hate it? Perhaps you then over-analyse, exhaustively weighing pros and cons, and end up paralysed by all your options. Perhaps you’re scared of moving out of your comfort zone, and everything looks like a reason not to. It’s not the right time. It’s too risky. Maybe when I win the lottery.

The truth is, there isn’t one right road. There will always be reasons not to. And waiting for everything to fall into place can end up being a very long wait indeed.

You may have heard the saying ‘there’s no such thing as a wrong decision’. You see, how a decision pans out is dependent on a whole range of factors that aren’t necessarily within your control. Selecting the ‘right’ road or taking the ‘correct’ action doesn’t guarantee success. And the converse is also true – making the ‘wrong’ choice doesn’t mean that you’ve set yourself on the path to disappointment. Your action now does not dictate the rest of your life. It’s what you do after you set yourself on any particular path that matters.

If you place too much weight on making the ‘right’ choice, it’s very easy to end up becoming overwhelmed, getting decision paralysis, and stopping before you even start, waiting for something to change your life.

On the other hand, you can take control. Tune into your heart and gut to discover what motivates you and the things that really make you tick. Big goals can be difficult to digest, so think about micro-resolutions – any kind of definitive action, no matter how small. Start moving. Your dream isn’t going to come to you fully formed; it’s going to grow and evolve with every new experience that you have, because it’s your journey that shapes the destination.

Decisions are just decisions. Stop worrying about making the right decision and focus instead on how you’re going to make a decision the right one for you.

Carpe Diem

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A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of listening to a friend talk about her career history. She is a successful and charismatic administrative professional, but like many others in administrative careers, this wasn’t her answer to the question ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’

One defining quality of her career is that it has been almost entirely unplanned; she thinks of herself as a lucky person for whom things always work out one way or another. Her life has taken her from the army, through the dental industry, to the higher education sector, taking in adult education along the way. Her driver? Simply a desire for learning – on growing through continually seeking out new challenges and opportunities.

Planning is important, but so is remaining open to and seizing opportunities when they come along. Lots of us fall into career ruts because we get into a comfort zone and stop learning.

The takeaway? Stay curious. Keep exploring, learning and speaking with new people. Somewhere in these new experiences is the opportunity. Take the chance when it comes.

Image credit: Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson.