CBT/CBC
CBT/CBC
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CBT/CBC
Mindfulness
Breath meditation and visualisation
I’ve been thinking about breathing. It’s one of those things we do constantly, unconsciously (thankfully), but every so often we can really benefit from giving focus to what literally keeps us alive.
Take a moment to observe your breath. Is it deep and slow, or short and shallow? Stress often shortens the breath, making it more difficult for us to relax and sleep well. What is your breath trying to tell you right now?
I like to visualise walking along a beach. The sand is warm, the salt breeze just brisk enough, the waves folding rhythmically. As I walk, I consciously release the tension from my shoulders and start to follow my breath, observing as it expands my chest and how it deepens as I exhale fully. I try to surrender to the breath, not attempting to control it. As I walk on, I start to give focus to the pause between the in breath and the out breath, closing my eyes to receive the kiss of the salt air. My mind starts to wander away to the things I want to write about, the things I want to say, so I bring it back to the breath. As I try to lengthen the space between the inhale and the exhale, I remember not to hold the breath, but rather trust and receive it. My footsteps on the sand are sure, my heart full, my eyes clear.
– Written by Natalie Snodgrass Tan, Quiet Space Ltd
Coaching
Lessons from Prufrock
This is from one of my favourite poets, T.S. Eliot: The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. It’s also one of my favourite-ever poems and if you Google it you can read the whole text.
The irony of Prufrock is that he is all let us go! let us go! but really he is his own patient ‘etherised upon a table’. We’re witnessing a consciousness that is destined to be at an eternal crossroads. He’s paralysed by indecisiveness and anxiety – so scared of making mistakes, trapped in eternal hesitation.
In short, he’s going nowhere because his mind is always anxiously dithering about probabilities and possibilities and he never arrives at any decision, never mind any action.
He probably dies in the end, by the way, surrounded by his genteel high society friends, having singularly failed to find any purpose in his life and any answers to his questions.
Well, that ended on a bit of a dour note. I bet you get the moral of the story, though.
– Written by Natalie Snodgrass Tan, Quiet Space Ltd
Mindfulness
Timelessness
Meister Eckhart, the 13th-century philosopher, theologian and mystic, said this: “Time is what keeps the light from reaching us. There is no greater obstacle to God than time.”
I was talking with a good friend last week about nothing existing outside the Now. If you are forever attached to the past or the future, how will you ever live in the time that is ever truly available to us? Right Here you can access quiet space and silence. Right Now you can have inner peace. In the eternal present your consciousness can be alert and alive. You can always cope with the Now. Let tomorrow take care of itself, and leave the past in the past. Realise that you are strong enough and resourceful enough to get through whatever life situation you are in.
Sit with me for a moment. Close your eyes and feel the breeze on your face. Take a deep breath and feel your chest expanding, and the air entering and leaving your lungs. Release the tension that you are holding in your brow, your jaw, your shoulders, and listen to the sounds of the world around you. Is your mind crowded with thoughts? Are you worried or apprehensive about the future? Witness those thoughts, hold them and accept them, and then let them go. In this moment you are free of time, and you are holding the light.
“Salvation is not elsewhere in place and time. It is now.” – Eckhart Tolle
– Written by Natalie Snodgrass Tan, Quiet Space Ltd
Journey
Endings
Have you ever ended a friendship? Not in the sense of drifting apart, but actively, intentionally. I’ve never had to before, but stepped back from this friendship several weeks ago, telling myself that it was just a break and that in time we would be able to be friends again. Right now, though, I’m thinking that this is more final than I originally envisioned. That makes me quite sad, although I believe it’s the right decision.
I’m reminded of when I broke up with my first love – we’d been together five years but I’d been too afraid to end it when it should have ended (which is to say much, much earlier). Basically I was a bit of a doormat and wanting to be loved; to belong to someone. I didn’t value myself and was too scared of losing him to reject the emotional blackmail. It ended messily, dramatically.
Back in present day I’ve checked out from the drama. Much older, and thankfully wiser, I am no longer willing to invest in relationships where there cannot be genuine trust and mutual support.
Endings are difficult, but sometimes necessary. Cherish the good memories and learn from the unhappy experiences. Always remain respectful and fair, no matter how others choose to act or what they might say about you. I am reminded of the saying “live in such a way that if anyone should speak ill of you, no one would believe it”.
– Written by Natalie Snodgrass Tan, Quiet Space Ltd
Mindfulness
The eternal present
“The eternal present is the space within which your whole life unfolds, the one factor that remains constant. Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.” – Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
Life is now. It has to be. All we are able to do happens in the now. If you are are forever focused on the past or future, you get locked in time, always reliving a memory or rehearsing what is only an imagined possible future. Either condemn you to never truly living.
If not now, when?
Artwork from @timothygoodman
– Written by Natalie Snodgrass Tan, Quiet Space Ltd
Latest posts
What’s in the pipeline?
There’s a lot in the pipeline and it’s all really exciting!
I’ve been invited by Leamington Hour to speak at Leamington Hour Live on 17 October 2018, on ‘work-life balance’ (although I prefer not to use the term ‘balance’ as I think it implies things it would be better off not implying); tickets should be on sale in September. A collaboration with The Wheelhouse Coventry is also brewing – 18 October 2018, hold the date!
New workshops are being developed on (a) resilience and (b) strengths, skills and values, and I have a plan for lots of new articles for the blog over the next few months – on how you can change your career path, the ‘problem’ of pain, perfectionism, mindfulness and coaching, and developing a personal philosophy of living.
I’m also starting to work with clients internationally! So if you want to come work with me, geography is now no barrier: drop me a message and we can talk about virtual coaching!
Keep learning, keep growing, stay curious x
– Written by Natalie Snodgrass Tan, Quiet Space Ltd
Coaching
Letting go and embracing the present
There’s a quote from Lao Tzu that goes like this: “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” Growing often requires letting go. It’s when we stop clinging on to the past that we are able to harness the opportunities of the present.
– Written by Natalie Snodgrass Tan, Quiet Space Ltd
Latest posts
Symbiosis
At the Dark Hedges, which we visited when we were in Northern Ireland earlier this month, my son was complaining, “what’s so important about these trees anyway?” Cue an impromptu lesson from a lovely Irish passer-by who told him about how old this famous avenue of beech trees is and how trees are connected underground by fungi, all joined together in a perfect symbiosis. It’s kind of like humans, really. We might choose not to see the interdependencies between ourselves, other people and the rest of the world, but they’re there, linking us into the universe.
– Written by Natalie Snodgrass Tan, Quiet Space Ltd
